I once heard a Christian woman I know say, ‘From now on, I am not
going to make any big decision in my life until I am 100 per cent sure of what
God wants me to do.’
I have huge respect for this woman. She is a very devout follower of Jesus and a
great example to others.
What is more, when she said this, there was a lot about her
attitude that was absolutely right. She
was determined to do the will of God in her life. And in faith she was expecting Him to speak
to her and guide her.
God certainly can and does speak to His children clearly at times,
sometimes extremely clearly. It is not
uncommon for Christians who have earnestly sought God about something to become
sure of His will.
Nevertheless, I do believe that what my friend said on this
occasion was unrealistic. Even the most
sincere Christians find themselves at times having to make big decisions
without being certain of God’s will. And
that is not usually a sign that anything has gone wrong.
What Paul says in 1
Corinthians
In 1 Corinthians 13:9-12 the apostle Paul tells the church in Corinth
‘For we know in part and we prophesy in part. But when what is complete comes, what is
partial will be done away with.
When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a
child, reason like a child. When I
became a man, I did away with childish things.
For now we see indistinctly in a mirror, but then we will see face to
face. Now I know in part, but then I
will know fully just as I have also been fully known.’
Paul talks here about the reality of the Christian life on this
earth. He says that we only know things
in part. He also likens our insight at
the present time to that of a child, who doesn’t understand things very well. The Greek word he uses, nepios, refers to a
very young child. Paul also says that we
see indistinctly as if we are looking in a mirror. In his day mirrors were made of polished
metal and gave a rather hazy image.
In this passage Paul seems to be making two overlapping points
about Christian experience.
First, he is saying that we only see part of the picture of what
God does.
And second, he appears to be saying that even in some of the bits
we can see, we will have uncertainty about what we are actually seeing. This fits well with the image of seeing
indistinctly in a mirror.
What Paul says here would seem to apply in part to the ways in
which God leads individual Christians. When
seeking His will on things, it is normal Christian experience for us often to
feel that we have gaps in our understanding.
And it is also normal for us often to be uncertain about things. When we die or Jesus returns, we will see the
whole picture clearly, but we cannot do that yet.
I am not saying that we should resign ourselves to always being
uncertain of God’s will. That would be
to take an extreme position. But to
think that we should always be able to reach a place where we are 100 per cent
sure of His will about important decisions we make is to go to the other
extreme. This idea fits very poorly with
what Paul says in this passage.
So, it is normal experience for devout Christian people to make
big decisions at times without being certain that they are doing God’s will. But how do we deal with this? How do we cope with the prospect of making a big
decision that could possibly be outside His will?
Well, firstly, we need to know that we have done everything we can
to hear what He is saying. So we must
take every possible step to discover His will.
This will involve the following:
Prayer
It should be obvious that when we are confronted with a big
decision, we need to soak it in a lot of prayer.
And we should certainly not be praying alone. It is important that we ask other Christians
to pray for us too.
Asking others for help
No Christian has a monopoly on wisdom. Therefore, it makes sense to get the advice
of some trusted fellow believers. This
will normally involve asking the leaders of the church we belong to for their
input. And it is usually better to hear
what several others have to say rather than going to just one person.
Examining our
consciences
When faced with a big decision, we must also examine our
consciences to the best of our ability.
You will often hear Christian teachers talking about the dangers
of introspection, i.e., looking inside ourselves. Many almost seem to treat any introspection
at all as a kind of sin.
It is true that some Christians spend too much time looking inside
themselves, and this can cause problems.
But it is perfectly healthy to look inside ourselves now and again to
see what is going on.
And when we are confronted with an important decision that we have
to make, looking inside ourselves is really necessary. We should be trying to assess our motivations
and listen to what our consciences are telling us.
In decision-making, the biggest dangers occur when we have a
strong desire to take one course of action instead of another. If we don’t have much of a preference, then
we are not in great danger of letting our desires cloud our judgment. But this can be a real danger when we really
want or don’t want to do something.
As we consider making the decision we are faced with, we must do
our best to be as honest as possible about our desires and motivations. And we must choose to accept God’s will to
the best of our ability. We should be
looking Him in the eye and asking, ‘Lord, what do you want me to do here? What
do you really want me to do?’
Not making the decision
too soon
We should also be careful not to make the decision any sooner than
we have to. If a decision does not have
to be made immediately, then we should make use of the time remaining to continue
praying for insight into God’s will.
For example, suppose a Christian has to decide whether to accept a
job offer but they are unsure of God’s will.
In this case there will probably be a date by which the offer needs to
be accepted. And it is wise to delay
making a decision until the time for making it runs out. That will give as much time as possible for
things to become clear.
There is a temptation in situations like these to make the
decision sooner than is necessary. Once
the decision has been made, agonising over it can cease. And none of us wants to be in any more agony
than we have to be!
But we should resist this temptation. It is much more important that we do our best
to get the decision right. And that will
mean taking as much time over it as we can.
In some big decisions we make, there will not be a specific date
by which the decision must be made. In
cases like these it is more difficult to know exactly how long we should keep
seeking God’s will. But usually I think
we can get a sense of when enough is enough.
If we feel in our spirits that we have really got as far as we can, and
our consciences are clear, then it is time for us to make our decision.
Trusting God even when
we are uncertain
Sometimes taking the above steps will be enough for us to become
sure of God’s will. At other times, however,
these things will not be enough, and we will still find that we are unsure.
In such cases, we simply need to take the course of action that we
think is most likely to be God’s will. And
then we must trust Him for the future.
If we have fought hard to find God’s will about a decision we need
to make, He will not be angry if we get it wrong. That is not His nature at all. And this means that He will be with us as we
move into the future. And, because He is
with us, we need not fear.
In the Bible we find promises that God will remain with His
children as they step into the future. Here
are a few Old Testament examples:
In Genesis 28:15 God promises Jacob:
‘Listen! I am with you, and
I will keep you wherever you go. And I
will bring you back to this land. For I
will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you.’
In Deuteronomy 31:6 Moses tells Israel
‘Be strong and courageous. Do
not be afraid or tremble because of them, for the LORD your God is the one who
is going with you. He will not fail you
or abandon you.’
In Joshua 1:5, shortly after the death of Moses, God says to
Joshua:
‘Just as I have been with Moses, so I will be with you. I will not fail you or abandon you.’
Importantly, none of these promises was conditional on the
recipients never making a mistake of any kind.
As long as those who received the promises tried hard to do the will of
God, He remained with them and overcame mistakes that they made.
The New Testament continues the theme of God being with His
children.
In Matthew 28:20 Jesus promises the 11 disciples and, by
implication, all later Christians:
‘Mark My words. I am with
you always, until the end of the age.’
And in Hebrews 13:5 the author reminds his Christian readers:
‘He [God] has said, ‘I will never desert you and I will never abandon
you.’’
Like the Old Testament promises that I cited, these promises are
not conditional on us making no mistakes of any kind. If we make an honest mistake in an important
decision, then God will be with us just as much as He was before.
The key point I am trying to make is that we should not fear
making wrong decisions about things. If
we try hard to make the right decision but still get it wrong, God will not distance
Himself from us. We need to trust Him to
take us forward from where we find ourselves.
God is the master
rerouter
Those who have used a sat nav system when driving, will probably
have found that there are times when they have left the prescribed route. When this happens, the sat nav reroutes the
driver so that they can get to their destination by another route.
This rerouting by sat nav is very similar to what God often does
when Christians make wrong decisions in their lives. He leads us back on to the right track by
another route. The short term future
will be different from what it would have been if we had not made the bad
decision. But God can arrange things so
that we are soon more or less back to where we would have been if we had made
the right decision instead.
Times when we should always
expect to hear God clearly
So far I have been saying that it is normal for devout Christians
to make big decisions at times without being completely sure that they are
doing the right thing.
I do think, however, that some decisions are so huge that we
should always expect God to warn us clearly about a course of action that is
going to cause real problems.
I am thinking especially about decisions to get married to someone. In this case, of course, if a mistake is
made, it is not so simple to think that God can just do some rerouting. Marriage is for life.
If a Christian is trying hard to do God’s will, I find it
difficult to believe that He would allow them to enter into a bad marriage. Perhaps if a marriage is not God’s perfect will
for someone but a close second best, we might expect honest mistakes
occasionally to be made. But even that
seems questionable to me. However, if a
Christian ends up in a truly bad marriage, I find it hard to believe that they
tried their best to do God’s will.
I am not saying that God will abandon a Christian who has chosen
to enter into a bad marriage. When we
repent of sins, He will forgive us and take us forward from where we are. I am just saying that we should expect Him to
speak to Christians clearly to warn against what would be a bad marriage.
And the same goes for any similar decisions. When making an enormous, irreversible
decision, we should always expect God to warn us clearly about a course of
action that is going to lead to real problems.
Nevertheless, as regards decisions that are somewhat less
important, but still significant, I believe it is normal for Christians sometimes
to have uncertainty when making them. And
if this is our experience, we need not fear.
He will be with us as we step into the future.
See also:
Getting into the Habit of Doing Everything with Jesus
Getting the Balance between Expecting Too Little and Too Much from Prayer
Getting the Balance between Expecting Too Little and Too Much from Prayer
